side note: i was somewhat disappointed when i went to vote today. this was a historic moment. it should have been less anti-climatic. i mean, i didn't expect confetti and horns but was it wrong of me to expect the people working at the polls to be polite? there was no line at my polling site at the senior's center on new york ave and pacific st. but i still had to wait for these older women to finish their conversation before they directed me to the next station, at which i had to endure a second-hand scolding. this lady five to ten years older than me was being given a stern talking-to by a mature, "cultured" looking woman around my mom's age. whatever it was about could have waited until there was no-one else at the table but i got the impression that ms. lady wanted a show. needless to say, my "excuse me" was greeted by a frosty stare followed by a flung hand, indicating that i should go "over there". the two redeeming moments happened right at the actual booth - the security guard, a 30 something year old latino man, wished me luck and after i had flipped my switches and pulled the lever, the cutest old lady that i've seen in a while, clapped for me, like i was the first negro woman to vote...ever. sometimes, a lot of times, i question people's sincerity but this was not one of them. granma had pride in her eyes. and that sweeten the whole bittersweet experience.
anyway, my bf buddha has responded lovingly and supportively with hugs & kisses and reassurances that i am indeed beautiful and sexy and that i will pull myself out of this funk. i know i will. after all, i am peaches' daughter. but right now, it seems hard. my snickers hasn't satisfied me. maybe i need another hug...and a glass of riesling. or maybe i just need to watch the color purple and get my cry over and done with.